The Outcast by Stephanie Holmberg

Disabled and Outcast

I felt like an outcast growing up. I was born with a disability that made me deal with hardship at an early age. I was unable to participate in physical activity the way other kids could. There was no jump rope or hopscotch, no sports of any kind, or even P.E.

Two Club Feet

 I was born with a severe case of what is called bilateral club foot. Both of my feet were twisted in such a way that I might not ever be able to walk properly without surgery. I have undergone six surgeries in my life to correct the medical condition. Surgery was needed to adjust the tendons, ligaments and joints in my foot and ankle. Then there were casts while it healed, followed by braces.

The Road to Depression

The road was long and difficult. It led into years of clinical depression as a teenager, and that awful belief that I was an outcast. Excluded and rejected by others, I look back now and realize how lucky I was to have the love and support of my family. If it were not for them, I’d probably not have come out of it the person I am today. 

The Love of Family

They encouraged me to pursue things that I could do. My mother taught me to draw, and my father revealed nature to me. My grandmother, Elaine, showed me how to play pretend and use my imagination. My grandfather, Ernie, urged me to read and write. Every single one of them helped build me into the woman I am today. They inspired me and I used what they taught me to battle through the worst of days. I’ve come out of every hardship a better person, learning much along the way.

Joy in the Journey

I have, of course, also experienced great joy. Most recently, I celebrated my marriage with all my friends and family to the wonderful man that I have been with for over eight years, Tyler. Every time

I hear the music, or see the pictures from the night, I am overcome with the joy I felt.

God in the Struggle
I will not deny that I have questioned the existence of God because of my struggle. I have asked why, if he is there, he has given me this path to walk. I’ve even wondered where I stand in his plan, for my life, and for the lives of those around me.

But in the end, I know his love has been there for me, steadfast and patient. The Lord has stood by me during my darkest and brightest of days. He is the source that made me strong and healed me. He has been so patient with me. His greatest blessing has been the love of my family, and some of the best friends anyone could hope for. He even blessed me with a large second family, my husband’s expansive clan.

I may not always be the most vocal of my own belief, or even the most devout. But I have learned to

keep the love of God in my heart. He has shown me that, through the darkest, toughest roads, he provides light along the way. You merely have to open your heart and mind to see it.
A Good Story
Personally, I now believe my story has been a fine one. I like to think that if God is a reader, he has found my life a good narrative. That he has found me sympathetic, complex, and flawed in the best sort of ways.
Blessings!
Stephanie Holmberg